I had terrible writer’s block during regular hours but as soon as I lay down I knew exactly what I wanted to write about, so here we go! After being in a relationship for years and having kids and being married to this man it has been very difficult to let go. Every day that has passed by this past year since we’ve been separated has felt like I’m trying to pull my self out of quicksand. Relationships, friendships, and traditions are so hard to let go and hard to move on from. His family still wants me to be apart of things but I can tell those things don’t make him comfortable always and even tho I can say our co-parenting has gotten better in the last month it is still difficult. I began moving on and yes I can still say it’s hard imagining a future with someone else after planning a future with my soon to be ex-husband. The grieving process is SO REAL!!! I cannot emphasize on that anymore. Day by day I had to let go of hurt and pain and disappointments. When you’re with someone for year and years and that was your first true love no matter how hard you try you will ALWAYS love them. It’s crazy because good dads and men that want to present in their kid’s lives are so hard to find nowadays and I’m so fortunate that he is such an amazing dad. But if I’m going, to be honest with you guys there are days where I wish he wasn’t so it would be easier to dismiss him and never have to see him again but I am blessed that my kids have him as a father. Every day I choose to move on with my life and not dwell on the past and what I felt I could have done differently or what could of preventing things from getting to this point. But as I hit a year since he told me he was done it gets easier to love myself and forgive myself and also forgive him. Don’t get me wrong I don’t forgive him to make him feel better but to set myself free from that constant movie of my relationship playing in the back of my head. Life is a series of getting up and deciding what you want to do with your current situations. I choose to move on and live with the things that I’ve learned from the relationship and to always know that not everyone is the same. So don’t prejudge! Let them show you who they really are, yes have your barriers but make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.
Well, I hope this post can help anyone and just know that you too will get through your situation. Not in you’re timing but in God’s timing!
Love you all just continue to be real to who you are someone will accept you no matter how crazy you are.